Lilli Logan Arader, LCSW

Areas of focus

In the 10 years I have been in private practice, and the 20 I have spent in the mental health field I have found that my greatest passion and efficacy has ultimately whittled down to “queerness”. To some extent we are all “queer”and by queer that I mean divergent from a seemingly (to me) arbitrary standard that is the very water we swim in. A set of implicit and explicit bars to measure up or down to. Our divergences from this familial and cultural standard vary greatly in areas and extremes and yet none of us ever fully “measure up”. The great questions of my life and career have been those of individuation and how the happenstance of who an individual is fits into the collective. What I have found through research and more importantly through experience and personal healing is that, ironically, we can not belong, cannot “fit in” unless we are first ourselves. Otherwise what is there to connect to? See the drop down menu for more specific populations and area of focus.

Therapeutic approach

“Therapeutic alliance” or the trust between a client and a therapist is the number one indicator of successful therapeutic outcomes. That means that nothing, and I mean nothing, is more important in this space than trust. What Ive found that actually means, in practice, is that I believe you, that in fact, I trust you, EVEN WHEN that challenges my world view, my education or my training. Western pschology is inherently biased, most concepts are. To see past this to the actual individual takes humility, patience and a trust in the process of discovery over the ideas I may have. These are the areas of true growth I have found over the years as a practitioner. I know myself well enough to believe you when you tell me who you are. I also do not ask what I do not give. I am committed to showing up as a true other, a real human sitting across from you, experiencing you, responding actually and genuinely bearing witness. Simply, I am me so you can be you. I often laugh, curse, cry and talk (sometimes a lot) in session.

Modalities

I am trained and certified in Eye Movement Desensitization (EMDR) and Accelerated Experiential Dynamic Psychotherapy (AEDP). I also pull heavily from Somatic Experiencing (SE) and Internal Family Systems (IFS). Finally I am a practitioner of buddhist mindfulness for 20 years and frequently pull the concepts therein into our work. What all of these modalities have in common are that each allow the individual to reveal themselves and their healing as it already is. Similar to the way a plant grows or a spider makes its web. Each approach calls this innate being (or becoming) into being. It can be called “suchness”, “core state”, “Self”, “bodhichitta”. They all stand for a part of you that can feel totally foreign yet more familiar than anything else you’ve known. Each of these modalities is like a detailed map, but no map is the actual terrain. A buddhist analogy is “the finger pointing to the moon is not the moon”. You have to experience where they lead to actually know it. I chose all “bottom up” modalities because none of them is prescriptive. They allow truth to reveal itself.